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Is it just me or…by Jennifer Wightman
January 01, 2010 - Do you remind full-grown adults to say “Please” and “Thank you”?
Do you accept the fact that NO conversation before 8pm will go uninterrupted?
Do you hear your mother uncontrollably coming out of your mouth?
Do you find yourself a bit in awe of what your parents did for you and wonder how they survived?
Do you still feel 21 and wonder how you can possibly be the parent your children need you to be?
Do you observe your child playing quietly with a book or toy and risk the opportunity to sit down and just as the throbbing in your feet ceases your child is up and in terrible need of YOU?
Are you sometimes reminded of cats as your little sweetie pies climb all over you (claws & all)?
Are you gripped by anxiety when they are slightly out of your reach in a public place?
Are you certain that every person at the grocery store, mall, or bank is plotting to take YOUR child and destroy your life?
Have you forgotten details of you LBK (Life Before Kids) but can recall every curve of your child’s face when you close your eyes?
Have you “let yourself go” a bit as in skipping make-up, eating crap food on the run, and calling climbing the stairs and getting up off the floor your new workout routine?
Has caffeine become your drug of choice?
Do you eat most of your meals standing up?
Do you wonder how you ever thought you were “busy” before you had a child to care for?
Do you consider every other job on the planet trivial compared to the responsibility and duties you now have as a MOM?
Are you in awe that you are IT to your children, you hung the moon, you are MOMMY; the only person alive who can properly, perfectly, and lovingly care for your little gifts?
Does your sweet, charming, helpful husband suddenly baffle you by his inability to anticipate and fulfill your child’s every need exactly the way YOU do?
Do your in-laws blatantly disregard all your child-rearing rules and do whatever the hell they want with THEIR GRANDCHILD?
Do you abandon deep sleep in order to listen for that heart breaking cough and rush to rock you baby as her snotty nose drips down your nightgown while you secretly cherish the intimacy?
Do you fear your own death because it would leave your child motherless and lost?
Are you kind of curious about how the Little Einsteins or Dora will solve their new adventure?
Do you sneak a peak at the Soaps and actually consider that “good” acting?
Have you eaten a lot of crow (that explains those stubborn 10 + pounds that cling to your middle) such as – My Kids won’t watch TV, My Kids will never eat McDonalds, sugar, dirt, And I will never raise my voice to My Kids? Let’s not forget the Pregnancy Crow (hard to swallow but you throw it up anyway) such as – I will enjoy every second of the miracle of pregnancy and never complain, I will be good and only gain 25 to 30 pounds, and My baby weight will fall off quickly because I am so disciplined.
Would you gladly, without a moments hesitation, step in front of a speeding truck to save your child yet make excuses for those bad habits like the occasional four letter word, talking on your cell phone while driving and gossiping in front of your children?
Do you find yourself swinging between the belief that you’re a terrible mother and the greatest mom a child could ever have?
Do you say crazy things like, “Stop sitting on your sisters head!” or “No, we do NOT put our hands in the toilet!”
Do you laugh more deeply and worry more irrationally?
Do you find yourself trusting NO ONE?
Can you sleep standing up?
Are you clueless about the latest styles because sweatpants have become your daily uniform?
Do you go out in public having NOT showered, brushed your teeth and hair, or even looked in a mirror?
Does your child have inborn radar that goes off when you even think about doing something for yourself?
Do you tire of the phrase, “They grow up so fast” yet sadly realize it’s true?
Do you find yourself aching with a love that you never knew existed?
Do you convince yourself that Fig Newtons are a legitimate form of fruit and NOT cookies?
Do you find yourself finishing half eaten grilled cheese sandwiches, macaroni and cheese and Spaghettios and calling it lunch?
Do you sit on the toilet with the door open while your children surround you, waiting to see YOUR poo poo?
Do you say, “Poo poo” and “Pee pee”?
Do you feel a sisterhood with that weary mother in line at the store with the screaming child and feel true compassion that only a mother can understand?
Do you thank God every day for the gift of your children and wonder if you’re worthy of this awesome task?
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